|
YourReasons_MyTears
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Mark
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Orange County
Birthday: 11/1/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: The walk... the feeling you get when your walking alone, outside, with no one around. The feeling that nothing else is as important as the next step
Expertise: focusing on the patterns of breathing... close you eyes and feel every breath measure your day's length
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/15/2005
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| I forgot about this thing... it's been so long
but my days, oh my days, have gone so wrong
so now I need an outlet to purge all my feelings
my fears, my angers, the horrors i'm seeing
The scene is filled by the promise of highs
through drugs and love, both girls and guys
and once you see through the fog of fake
you be happy again, for happiness sake
The move, the girl, my sister, my band
all are filling my still-small hands
The death of my mother, the changing of towns
The friends, the backstabbers, smiles, and frowns
but believe me, people, there's things to be said
for all the kids the scene has left dead
who used to be vibrant and so full of life
but now are left silent, all alone tonight
It's been awhile everyone, it's been awhile. I
believe I'm gonna do some serious xanga-whoring so maybe some other
people aside from Texans will read this sucker. So, if you're
new, you may wanna read the other posts and catch up on life.
The scene is relentless here, sometimes scary.
Any guy in chick pants and tight shirts has to be at the show, has to
be with scene girls, has to smoke, has to drink, has to pretend they're
the farthest thing from scene there is... relentless.
Phrase of the Day: Watch out boy, she'll chew you up.
Yeah, from the song.
Mark Crown 2005
p.s. Thanksgiving is tomorrow... i take that back, today
| | |
| Trust misplaced, now found it's medium
A virtuous outlet for something once vile
Yes, girl, you changed me
Sara is back, and has been for awhile. She returned shortly after my last post. She was scared of a new life without the strength of Mom to hold her up, so she just ran. She wanted to escape so bad, that she literally ran from it. Starved, alone, walking down the street looking for anyone to help her, she was recognized by someone who saw her picture on a poster. Thank God she's returned.
My life has pulled a full 180 degrees... Michelle Allen, the girl I fell for the first day I saw her, found out the truth. She didn't know what to believe anymore, so she research for herself and realized I was the one telling the truth. Her friend had lied, on purpose, because Michelle had said she had feelings for me. Once Michelle confronted her friend about her blatant lie, she ran off, refusing to answer. The next day, "I love you" was painted on the side of my car and Michelle's friend wouldn't return her calls. Me and Michelle began talking, and, by heaven's grace, she regained her feelings for me and we have been together ever since. Two words: She's Amazing
I've been making more friends around the Alternative scene and the void of loneliness seems to have been filled. I only hope life continues to stay on the positive path it's been traveling on lately...
Talk to me, I want to listen
Your problems I want to be mine also
If I didn't care, I wouldn't ask
So open up, I'm ready to catch you
Mark Crown 2005 | | |
| Horrible timing, my life seems to take...
My sister ran away a week ago and we don't know where she could be. She doesn't have any friends here to stay with.
On top of that... Michelle is a magnificent grudge holder... I need to find someone she trusts to tell her it was all a lie.
Poem - a haiku
Dreams are for a sleep
Not to entangle real life
Dreams - yadda yadda | | |
| "There are chords in the hearts of the most restless that can only be touched by emotion"- Edgar Allen Poe
Start of day three of school, I meet up with Brian (faux hawk kid) before school, he gives me a ride now because we are homies, were also considering starting a freaking awesome band because Brian rips the guitar and I pull an Elton John on the piano... not to mention that Underoath has a keyboard player and they are one of the best bands in history.
Sarah Casi Crown (my sister) is having a real hard time with the move, so far I dont think she has any friends, I'm really worried about her, we were best friends before mom... passed away, but she hardly talks now, I'm super worried...
A bummer of this week is the sweet Michelle is mad at me, because of her high-strung, over-acheiving, (insert another insult here) best friend, told Michelle that I Markus Lewis Crown was lying about my mother just for attention, therefore not only am I hurt that anyone can think this kind of heartache is made up, but now Ms. Allen (Michelle) will not speak to me....
Ending on a sad note...
Mark Crown
<This is where the edit starts>
I figured since my newest post isn't quite as poetic as the last... i'll add some writing here, just to compensate
The anger burns like pebbles heated in the sun
The trust of one is burned into the ash
For all this time I am searching for one
to end the frustration of this life
Her face is shrouded by the fact she's far away
For three steps closer, I'm sure I would kill
Take me instead, I'd be better off dead
I don't enjoy my time here anyway
Mark Crown 2005 | | |
| This week...
quiet
surreal
She's gone... two weeks ago... taken by cancer. The woman i could always turn to, turned away... gone... one word, so much meaning forcing itself into one syllable.... gone... represents all my dream falling ever more...
The move... Orange County, California?? From Canton, Ohio?? A cross country venture towards familiar family to "ease the pain of my mother's loss" so a million miles and an ocean is supposed to make me forget. New school, huge, new faces, people who glance at you and dismiss you as "that new kid from the East"... but i met a girl... Michelle Allen...
I was walking through the courtyard after talking with the principle, he had directed me toward one of the sattelite buildings surrounding the main building of the school, unfortunatly there was about forty of these buildings, while walking i heard someone talking, this voice my friends was ethereal, i had never heard anything so smoothe, and this is what brought my attention to the girl standing a good five feet to my right, now i am no pussy, but i have to say this girl intimidated me to no end, but i had to say something, if for no other reason than to hear the response in that cool relaxed voice. I asked her for room 407, which is the theatre room. She led me there, and we had the traditional acquaintance small talk... told her i just moved here, we talked about music, movies, the city... i'm beginning to wonder if it's a coincidence we both want acting careers... now i don't believe in "love at first site" but this was damn close...
I met my first "friend" too. I was sporting my Beck shirt (because first impression are oh so important) and walking through a breeze way, staring at my schedule, pretending directions would magically appear... and i bump into a kid with a faux hawk. I blabber out some apology and explain myself, but only get half way through because i notice he is wearing the exact same shirt as I am. As luck would have it (coincidences galore) this guy has the same next class as I do. An english class in room *insert three #s here*... I sit in some arbitrary seat, and like all my classes, I get the privilage of standing at the front of the class and introducing myself to the class... and I see her. Michelle Allen is at the back of the class, green eyes, brown hair, and a certain radiance that still makes me wonder if she's more than a coincidence... we'll have to see...
Day 1 comes to an end...
It's late and the Nyquil kicks in, until tomorrow
Mark | | |
|
